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NOT THIS AGAIN!!!!!
YES!! We're rather afraid it is! Bwoh hoh hoh! (Maniacal laughter) In the very bowels of 'Hellingley' (that's an attempt at a wordplay between 'Hell' and 'Headingley' but it didn't work on any level so let's move on and leave that ugliness behind us).
Dominic Brunt and Mark Charnock, Emmerdale’s Paddy and Marlon and complete Zombie obsessives, bring you the fourth LEEDS ZOMBIE FILM FESTIVAL at the Cottage Road Cinema, Headingley on April 24th. It’s all in aid of charity, namely WSPA (World Society for the Protection of Animals) and will be a great night out (but not for the whole family.) Dominic and Mark will give a short intro to each film and explain why it was chosen. The movies will be both old and new, giving fans of zombie culture a chance to see classics from the past on the big screen for the first time and some more recent contributions to the genre that may have passed many fans by.
It’s going to be BLOODY great. (See what we did there?) Come along for noon and leave at midnight, twitchy and paranoid, as you wonder what creatures may be lurking in the dark. And then wonder why you didn’t see the apocalypse coming like Dom and Mark did.
MARK INTRODUCES THE LINEUP:
Hello you goremonkeys! We can't wait to see you all again. We see each subsequent Leeds Zombie Film Festival as the mutant offspring that was the result of some hideous congress between us the organisers and you the audience the year before. I no longer feel comfortable with this metaphor and I'm going for a lie down in a quiet room where I'm going to have a stern word with myself.
Ahh! Back and refreshed. Now. Where was I? Mutant kids? No!! I was going to talk to you about the lineup. And what a lineup it is. A real eclectic mix this year, from the ultraviolent depravity of LA HORDE (those French peeps can do EXTRAORDINARILY obscene things on-screen - Truffant would be turning in his grave, before leaping out of it and devouring random passerby) to the almost intimate drama of SIEGE OF THE DEAD. Dom introduced me to the latter and I have to say I've fallen in love with it a bit. We've also allotted a space, inevitably, for a cheeky bit of Romero. Its the fourth in the series, LAND OF THE DEAD. Sadly, we are arriving at the time where the only option we'll have is to show Survival of the Dead and none of us want that. Unless of course he makes another Zombie movie before next April. But he's 136 years old so it'll take a monumental effort. Come on George, ye lazy git. Pull yer finger out!
What else? Ah yes: FIDO. Its a unique, little-seen masterpiece in our opinion. Bizarre and hilarious and VERY stylish with some superb performances. We've been trying to nail the rights for it every year. You can't believe the indignities we've had to suffer to finally get to show it. We're also digging into Italian crapola again. THE CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD is by Lucio Fulci, the twisted creator of Zombie Flesh Eaters. Its jaw droppingly rubbish. But in comparison to that s**te (shite) we showed last year, its an Academy Award winning triumph. You'll love it.
There's another film. And I'm not happy about it. And I'll tell you why. Because its not a f**^*^g (flipping) Zombie film!!!
AAAARGGGHHHH!!! THE EVIL DEAD is not a Zombie film. Its NOT. But Dominic thinks it is and he's physically a lot stronger than me and he held my head down the toilet for ages until I agreed it WAAAS a Zombie film and that we should show it. It's ridiculous. We might as well be showing Driving Miss Daisy. In fact, that's closer to a Zombie film than the Evil Dead! But Dominica must have her own way. Be prepared for a MASSIVE row on the day.
On that unhappy note, we really hope to see you down there again. The Cottage Road Cinema has hosted us fantastically well for the past couple of years and we'll have just as much fun again. Prizes galore and this year we plan to get off with all of you. Well. Perhaps not. But there are prizes and that.
See you down there. Bring your brains. We're peckish!
THE FOURTH LEEDS ZOMBIE FILM FESTIVAL
SUNDAY APRIL 24TH AT COTTAGE ROAD CINEMA, HEADINGLEY, 12 noon til midnight
TICKET HOTLINE: 0113 275 1606
STRICTLY OVER 18s ONLY
